God is Good (4/29/12)

I was once again searching for signs from God. I know s/he has messages to reassure us and led us to a better future. When I went to church today I decided to close my eyes and flip through the Bible. I stopped at a page and then took my finger and pointed to a section. When I opened my eyes I landed on Psalm 63, verse 4 which says "So I will bless you as long as I live; I will lift up my hands and call on your name." Under neath the title of Psalm 63 it said, "comfort and assurance in God's presence."

The moral for me is that God is Good. S/he is with us no matter what. S/he deserves praise because through difficult times, happy times, and everything in between, God is there for us. We can call on his/her name and we will gain peace as long as we stay faithful, we will receive God's favor!

Circles (4/8/12)

We were at Widmer Brothers today. The waiter brought us his specially brewed root beer with only 7 grams of sugar. This glass made a circle of rings that I thought was cool.

Star Light (4/4/12)

My daycare provider changed her porch light fixture. It is like a star and the light
shines
through it.
It is a beautiful fixture. I love to walk to the front of her house and see it on. Little things put me in a good mood. :)

Swim Time (4/3/12)

Our big girl was very excited about her swim lessons today. She did really well for her first official lesson. She listened and followed instructions. She dunked her head in the water and tried to float. It is amazing how much she does now and what a little athlete she is becoming. I can't wait to see what she will be doing in the future. :)

Delta Tau Lambda (4/2/12)

Eighteen years ago today my Sands, Maria Ramos, and I embarked on an incredible journey, founding Delta Tau Lambda. We had a dream and a vision that we wanted to shared with the world. We knew that there were other women who shared our passion for service, empowerment, academic excellence, and professionalism. Since 1994 we have been blessed with Phenomenal Sorors throughout the world who are doing amazing things for their communities, families, and themselves. This Brown and Gold journey has been Phenomenal and I can't wait for the next eighteen! My Sands made me this paddle! :)

Tia Time (4/1/12)

Tia Morgain came for a visit this weekend. Amarilis had a good ol' time with her Tia. Morgain was a
trooper
playing
Candy Land with her. She was also educating Amarilis about the meaning of pouting. :) We are working on her so that she will stop being a sore looser. Tia time was very fun! Thanks Morgain!!

Red Cross (3/31/12)

You are welcome Red Cross! I am a regular donor of blood. There is always I need for more donors. I certainly encourage all who can to donate. It takes less then an hour. It is not painful. And, most importantly you can save someone's life. You never know who is going to need it. They had a poster at the Red Cross office I go to that was a drop of blood full of hearts. I thought it was too cute. I am one of those hearts. I do love going to give blood.

Signs (3/25/12)

Amarilis and I were in Church this morning. While I am a spiritual woman that believes in God I must admit that I am not much of a Bible reader. I can't quote scriptures like some people can. This morning Amarilis asked to sit on my lap and before she did she grabbed the pew Bible. As she was flipping through it she came upon Deuteronomy chapter 32 verse 4. She stopped at 4 because she said it was four like her. :) The verse reads: "The Rock, his work is perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is he."

I am a believer in signs. I feel there was a reason why Amarilis grabbed the Bible and stopped at this particular verse. I think it was to remind me how constant God has been in my life. He has been there through good and bad times. The Lord has brought me through it all and blessed me beyond measure. He is the Rock, faithful and just.

The Park (3/24/12)

Tony and I went to the park today with Amarilis. As our boo boo was running around and enjoying the playground I look over and I see a guy knocked out. It was a nice day today with a nice breeze. It was a little cold for us because we were wearing short sleeves. However, this guy had a nice jacket on that probably kept him warm enough and the breeze going, the conditions were just right for a good nap.

My hubby brought up a good point. He said: it is a nice day, great environment for a nap but, "question, where are the kids?" We never got the answer to that. The guy popped up for a second to wipe his mouth but he was down for the count shortly after that. Later on a woman set next to him and was texting. I am pretty sure she did not know him. It was too funny!! :) Yay for spring.

Forget-Me-Not (3/23/12)

There is a senior home close to our house. It has a water fountain outside. Amarilis loves to throw flowers into the fountain. There are a lot of forget-me-nots around our neighborhood. This is Amarilis' flower of choice. What can you expect from a Delta Tau Lambda legacy? :) I took a picture today after she threw in her flower. It looked beautiful floating over the rocks.

Snowing Day (3/22/12)

We had a snowy day in Portland. One of few this year. We had a two hour delay so I took my time getting Amarilis to daycare and then on to work. After dropping Amarlis off I stopped to take a couple of pictures. As I was walking back to the car I saw this cover that was clear. I am guessing it must have had some type of steam or heat to keep it exposed since the rest of the road was covered by snow. The contrast between the blue color of the cover and the whiteness of the snow was striking.

Concrete Heart (3/20/12)

I usually park in the same parking structure when I go downtown for my weekly meetings with my boss. Since it rains often in Oregon the floor in the parking structure is usually wet. I come around the same time each week and I tend to park around the same area. A few months back I noticed this whole in the floor of the parking structure that looks like a heart. I love hearts! :) When it is dry, it looks like any other indentation on the concrete. However, when it is wet the heart really stands out.

I know that people who were driving past me when were wondering what in the world I was taking a picture of. I can't help but imagine that people came around to see what I was looking at after I was gone. Perhaps, people are not as lifeless as me and did not care! :) But, I like to think of them as begin super curious and finding the heart and getting a smile on their face. I know, I am a dork! :)

I Heart ME (3/19/12)

I am obsessed by this truck. I see it most days at work. I don't know what Manning Enterprizes is all about. The license plate is form
Connecticut. I love that the truck has a row of hearts towards the bottom. It puts a smile on my face every time I drive past it. 

Today I finally decided to take a picture. Later on in the afternoon I found this quote: "Anytime you start a sentence with I am, you are creating what you are and what you want to be. So, if you sometimes say, 'I am bad at this, I am ugly, I am stupid,' these words take you farther and farther away from the part of you that is God. When you choose to say, 'I am happy, I am kind, I am perfect,' you help the light of God inside you to grow and shine." ~Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. I guess this Monday was meant for self-love and affirmations. Hence why I proclaimed in my facebook status that: I am rocking awesome! I am outstanding! I am spectacular! I am phenomenal! I am happy! I am joy! I am laughter! I am blessed! I am love! :)

Steadfast Love (3/18/12)

At church again today, the topic was suffering. However the focus was on Psalm 107 which talks about how God's steadfast love can get you through difficult times. The pastor recalled a time when a professor told her to remember that at any given moment, everyone is doing the best they can. She said that this can be hard to believe for some people because they want people to do things at their expectations versus at what people have to give at that time.

She also said that focusing on gratitude helps us to isolate suffering. God does not want to see us in pain. He suffers when we suffer. God does not like to see us in pain because pain is not his will. God always responds with steadfast love. The pastor mentioned that the Hebrew word for praise also means radiate, as such we should reflect God's love. We are part of healing when we rejoice for those who have found peace.

Letter (3/17/12)

Every year we send a letter to Amarilis' birth mother with a few updated pictures and information about her. I was happy to share that Amarilis is a blessing in our lives. That she is a very happy little girl who thinks she is a comedian. I had Amarilis do a picture to include with the letter. I tried to get her to do a sun but she would not. It was more abstract in design. It is so funny how her little mind works and her personality/strength of character are present in full effect most days.

I try to put myself in her birth mother's position. I try to understand what the pictures and letters mean to her. She was very selfless and gave us such an amazing gift. Our life is so full and amazing thanks to her selflessness!

Praise (3/14/12)

I went to church on Sunday and they handed out papers with the words "Still I Will Praise You" in the front in a large print. In the back it had the word "suffering" in small print at the top of page. The sermon was about how people handle/manage suffering. The biblical story they used was that of Job's. He lost everything but due to his faith he also saw his life restored. The pastor talked about the things that happen to us. He said that when we go through hardships, it is not God's will. What is God's will is to help us through those difficult situations. Therefore, in suffering, still praise God because he will be with you and help you through the turbulence. Just so happened that Monday I re-read the footprint poem which also talks about God's love and support of us during difficult times. God is good and s/he carries us through hard times. We must remain faithful through adversity for God always delivers!

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

Birthday (2/28/12)

Today I turned 38, oh my! Time flies when you are having fun. I usually take my national holiday off but I had to work today. I can't remember the last time I worked on my birthday. I can't complain. Work was ok today. I had all kinds of love from family, sisters, and friends. The best part was coming home to my cake, flowers, and Tony and Amarilis singing happy birthday. Life is good! God is good!

Flamboyan (2/27/12)

I find myself missing a lot of things about Puerto Rico. In particular I miss el flamboyan. I remember riding down roads that had rows of flamboyans on both side of the road. The trees would meet, making a canopy of red flowers. When the trees shed it was the best red carpet ever. We used to have a flamboyan in our house in Puerto Rico. It was beautiful! You have to see these trees in person to truly appreciate their beauty.

Future (2/26/12)

We took Amarilis to the driving range for the first time. My husband had bought her golf clubs a while back. She finally got to use them. She had a good time. It made me think of athletes who make it big. They always show those pictures of when they were little playing the sport. It made me wonder what my daughter's future will be? What pictures will we pull out to say... she had _____ (fill in the blank) since she was three years old.

Pretty Brown Girl (2/25/12)

Today was the first Pretty Brown Girl Day! I found out about it from a high school classmate who posted on facebook. I was all over that since I am one, and I have the prettiest brown girl of them all (according to me of course). I ordered our matching shirts right away and they arrived in Portland just in time for today! Since I moved form Puerto Rico to the states I have seen the negative perception of women of color. I am
hypersensitive to these issues and want to ensure that our daughter grows up knowing she is beautiful, intelligent, talented, and can do anything she sets her mind to.

Shortly after my hubby and I brought our gorgeous daughter home form Atlanta to Portland I went on a walk in our neighborhood and I stopped at Starbucks. As I was waiting for my drink, a young white girl came in. She was a cute teenage girl. As I turned my attention back to Amarilis I had this overwhelming sadness thinking that by the time she is my age things will not be that different for women of color. It sadden me of all the pain and ignorance that I will not be able to save her from, but will do my best to sooth her through. I pray that I am wrong, but I doubt that I am. Now, three years later, I am very glad to be celebrating our Pretty Brown Girl with other Pretty Brown Girls around the country! It is not too late to get your shirts or other Pretty Brown Girl items at: www.prettybrowngirl.com.

Laughter (2/23/12)

I was at the bookstore at my job and saw this decorative plaque. It reminded me of a status I saw on facebook a while back. Someone was talking about what an amazing time they had with friends and how hard they laughed. At that time I had to think hard when the last time I had laughed like that was. It made me sad that I even had to think about it. It has been a while since then. I have had great laughs since. My husband was just telling me about how he scared straight this wanna be though at the gym. I still laugh when I think about it. 

Tony, Amarilis, and I went to dinner last week. At the booth next to us there was a group of women laughing and carrying on. They were having a good ol’ time. It made me miss handing out with my girlfriends/ sorority sisters. I was like those women when I was in Michigan in October from dinner with Alejandra and Damaris through the rest of the weekend. This plaque reminded me that I love to laugh, and I am blessed to have a lot of joy in my life. It also reminded me that I miss my gurls! ;)

Architecture (2/17/12)

I love the architecture in Portland. There are some amazing buildings and homes that are breath taking. I was at a meeting this afternoon in our downtown office. I had the pleasure of looking at this building. I loved the exposed brick on the top. I love the fire escape ladders.

Adding Machine (2/15/12)

I was at the surplus office at my job looking for a filling cabinet. As I was about to leave I noticed this amazing machine in the corner. It is a Burroughs adding machine. It is probably from the early 1900s. This picture does not do it justice. Who knows how it that this machine came to be in the attic of our surplus building. They told me that they are getting ready to send it to the Oregon's historical society. People are in such a need or want for the newest gadget, the fastest whatever, and people overlook the beauty of history. This machine is a piece of art. It is amazing! Keep looking for pieces of history, they are slipping away. 

Religion (2/12/12)

I watched a youtube video of "Why I hate religion, but love Jesus" by a spoken word artist. He made some good points. I have been in some churches were I did not feel the spirit. However, I can't say that I hate religion.

I do not think it is ok to use God as an excuse for war. I do not think it is ok for Republicans to use God as an excuse to keep people at bay and as second class citizens! What I know is that God is Good! We joined the United Church of Christ when we moved to Portland and it has been the most amazing experience. To be in an open and affirming congregation, that believes in equality and social justice has been the best decision in my walk with God. It has renewed my faith and been my rock through some trying times.

I love God, I love my religion, and I love that I can practice freely!

Sunset (2/10/12)

The sky was interesting today as the sun began to set. It was still raining with some gray clouds but a few patches of
clear sky
could be seen. It was a beautiful sight. I like the sky when it has a orange huge. It reminds me of the sunsets in Puerto Rico. The colors were more vibrant of course. :)

Transplant (2/9/12)

I found Tony's transplant packet when I was cleaning. It made me think about Jesus Navarro, an immigrant who is being denied a kidney transplant because of his residency status. Jesus has private insurance and a donor, his wife. The hospital seems to be changing their tune now after bad press.

I know that my husband's kidney transplant changed his quality of life. He could be a father again to Amarilis, play with her, pick her up, and it was amazing to see how his face changed after getting a surge of new life.

I continue to pray for Jesus, and all other men, women, and children on dialysis waiting their turn. For more information, contact http://www.kidney.org/.

Office Supplies (2/7/12)

I was at one of my office locations today. Turns out, they have some old school office supplies. This stapler was probably top of the line back in the day :) I felt the lines and shape were kind of jazzy. The killer scissors were just dangerous! ;)

Water Fountain (2/6/12)

I love water fountains. Apparently Portland does as well. They are everywhere, downtown, even McDonalds. Gotta love Portland and all their soothing fountains.

Super Bowl Ready (2/5/12)

Amarilis and I were walking to our local library. When we rounded the corner out of our garage this is what I saw. :) These fools were Super Bowl ready. The funniest part is that they had the garage half way open. They could not see me taking a picture of them. I did not notice the dob until I got home to post this picture.

Imperfect (2/4/12)

I am by no means an expert photo-grapher. I do however, love to take pictures. I took this picture today of a set of lights and it came out kind of funky. Usually, I delete the pictures that are not the "best" quality. Many times I am disappointed if there is something I can't capture "just right." But, life is not perfect and there is a lot of beauty in imperfection! Sometimes we are so busy trying to make something right or perfect that we miss the beautifully imperfect things around us.

Oh Oh Flower (2/3/12)

My daycare provider is awesome and she gets presents for mother's and father's days for all the parents. This was the first present she got for me my first mother's day with her, which was my second mother's day ever. :) It is a candle holder. I am not sure why the flower has the Oh Oh face! :) I still think is cute. I love the colors.

I did not know I would enjoy being a mother this much. I questioned myself and abilities before
embarking on this journey. Tony almost had to pull the car over when we were on our way to pick our baby up from the foster home because I felt sick.There isn't a handbook for being a parent, especially when you literally
become one over night after a red-eye flight to Atlanta. You learn as you go from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. It is all sooo worth it! I was just thinking to myself this morning about how much I have laughed these last three and a half years. I am so blessed!!

Legacy (2/2/12)

My sorority sister Damaris and I were talking about legacies. I can't wait until my cutie baby joins Delta Tau Lambda. I can picture her in my mind being at her crossing party. I am already planning her gifts. :) I can't wait. She is three and a half, just 15 more years to go! ;) Brown and Gold Legacy!!

Our tag line is: Women by Chance, Sisters by Choice, Phenomenal by Nature. She has the woman and Phenomenal part down. I just have to wait for the sister part but she does not have a choice. ;)

Music (2/1/12)

There was a vendor outside of my office in the mall area of my building. There hand made glass recklessness. I really like the music notes. I love all kinds of music. Salsa and merengue of course, since I am an island girl! But I also enjoy Jazz. I still remember my buying my my first Jazz CD when I was in college, Art Porter, Straight to the Point. Anything with a good beat, or a good message pretty much does it for me.

Light (1/31/12)

I took this picture at work. There are some light post light in one of the buildings. They provide great lighting and ambiance to the building. I like them because it makes me think of lighthouses. I find it kind of poetic given that I work at a college. The lights guide students to their future.

Escape Ladder (1/30/12)

I took this picture in downtown Portland from my parking structure. I am not sure what the building is but it was about five floors and they all had these doors leading to the outside escape ladders. I did not grow up with these types of buildings. I really like them. It makes me think of shows I used to watch when I was young of in different city/urban settings. I always wanted the city life, it seem so exciting. :)

Library (1/29/12)

Amarilis and I took a trip to our neighborhood library. It is a small building with books and videos. It was our first time there even though we are in walking distance. I was surprised at the amount of bilingual children books they had. It is going to be a great option for us since I like Amarilis to have books in Spanish. Support your local libraries! They are a treasure!!

Ladder (1/27/12)

These stairs ladder is outside of the building I work. It leads to the roof. It has an railing around it to secure the person as they go up. I have never seen anyone climb to the roof but I appreciate the protection for them. I can only imagine the view from up there. Our campus is very pretty. I am sure it must be breath taking in the spring.

There are a lot of images of ladders leading up to the sky. This is my version of it. Reach for the skies and do not pass by the tools you blessed with along the say. Do not pass of your ladders!

Outdoors In (1/26/12)

I love spaces where they bring the outdoors in. One of the buildings where at work has done just that. It has the beautiful water fountain with small trees in the background. There is also a lot of wood in this building and great sky lights. The elements are alive in here with the water, light, and earth. It is not only aesthetically pleasing but overall a very serene, peaceful place. The only thing missing is a hammock! My Puerto Rican is showing, nos encanta una hamaca! :)

We should all have a place where we can retreat to find some inner peace. A place where we can spend time in reflection. The world is so noisy, so busy, so distracting. We must build time to decompress from it all. Remember that you can find that place in the most unexpected locations.

Circle of Life (1/24/12)

I am not big into Southwest decor but found this piece when my husband and I took a trip form El Paso to Phoenix. The tag said that it represented the circle of life, as well as the water and earth. It is supposed to demonstrate the different aspects that impact our lives. I really like the symbolism behind it.

Every year on my birthday I think back on my life, the circle of my life through that year. I often laugh at myself because of what I thought I knew five or ten years earlier. I think about what I have gained and lost. I think about how many things have impacted my life and at times changed the course of my life. I often wonder where will I be five years from now. I know that it will be a richer (in character) place  and I will be more fulfilled because of the people in my life and the life lessons that come with each passing day.

I continue my journey in the circle of my life.

Odd One Out (1/23/12)

There are some rocks by where I work and they are all the same except for one odd ball that stock out to me. I liked the big ol' rock in the mist of the little ones. I can relate to sticking out. I am a tall Puerto Rican, which got me a lot of stares. We moved to Michigan when I started 8th grade. There were not a lot of Latinos in the school, ok any other than my family, which made us stick out. When I lived in Texas I remember going out to lunch with a Mexican co-worker  that told me I was the first Puerto Rican she EVER met. :) I like being one of a kind. Sticking out of the crowed, it has never bothered me. Here is to all the odd ones out!

Pariah (1/22/12)

I was on my way to see the movie Pariah at the only theater that was playing it in Portland. Before going into the movie I stopped at a plaza on SW Park. The plaza has a section that has a sheltered area covered with plexiglass that is being held by tension wire. Little did I know that my picture would be very fitting to my reflections after the movie.

Pariah is a movie about a young lesbian teenager becoming more comfortable with her identity and finally coming out to her family (even though they had a feeling all along). When she finally confirmed their suspicions the mother physically assaulted her daughter. When the scene took place, the woman next to me shifted her body and I could almost feel her tension. It made me think, how this woman identified with what just played out on screen, either personally or because she knows people that have been through it.

As a straight woman I have not had to explain my sexually or be judged by it. I just know that I do not want our daughter to have to live a double life. I do not want her to fear to be her true self with my husband and I. It broke my heart to see this play out on film, but more so to know that there were woman in that theater who personally
identified with the main charter, Alike, all too well.

If you wounder why the name Pariah, for its meaning... 1. a person without status, 2. a rejected member of society, 3. an outcast.

Lock and Key (1/21/12)

Tony, Amarilis and I went to lunch at Habibi's today. I looked over and I saw this lock and key and I just had to take a picture. The owner stopped by and told us that it was over 300 years old. It was amazing to hold it and see it up close. It made me wonder where it had been before ending up in Portland, OR. If it could talk, what stories would it have to share about our history and human nature!? It was simply amazing!!

Delta Tau Lambda (1/20/12)

I always wanted a sister. I grew up with two brothers whom I love but I wanted a sisterly bond. However, I was the end of the line for my parents. I never got my little sister.

While I did not gain a sister from my parents, God did not forget about me. He blessed me with Phenomenal
sorority sisters. Maria Victoria Ramos and I embarked in the most amazing journey on April 2, 1994, we founded Delta Tau Lambda Sorority, Inc. We have stayed the course and what started with two is now comprised of a network of intelligent, talented, beautiful, resourceful, passionate, gracious, giving, dedicated, and Phenomenal women across the US and the world.

My mom tells me that I had sisters in the best way because she did not have to pay for any of them. :) Biology or not, sisterhood is so important. Every woman needs to have bonds with other women that do not need to be explained, it just is!

Puerto Rico Nights (1/19/12)

I was
remembering
a trip to Puerto Rico back in the early 90s. I went out with my friend Vanessa and some of her friend to Old San Juan. We were in the area where the cruse ships docked. It was a perfectly warm island night. We could see the ships and smell the sea water. Behind us there were a group of viejitos listening to to boleros, singing and dancing. They were so beautiful, their faces, their wrinkles, their singing, and their joy!  This little pava  reminded me of them. I wish I had a camera that night!

Peace (1/18/12)

I love churches that have light crosses that you can see at night. Since God is a beacon of light guiding us, it is fitting that a church would have a cross that can be seen at night. I passed this church today and this cross sits at the very top. I liked that the roof was so dark as well as the sky that it makes it seem like the cross is floating. Taking this picture made me think about the peace that I feel when I go to church.

True Colors (1/17/12)

I love Gerbera Daisies! I especially love a bouquet of all colors. They put me in great mood. These are the flowers I used for my wedding. I was at the grocery store where they sell small bundles of Gerbera Daisies. After I took this picture I bought a couple of things. As I was heading out of the store with Amarilis I heard True Colors by Cyndi Lauper. I it such a beautiful song. It made me think about my daughter and how I want her to be true to herself always! "I see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors and that's why I love you. So don't be afraid to let them show. Your true colors, true colors are beautiful, like a rainbow."

Lovely Construction (1/16/12)

This picture is of our attic. I guess the construction guys were filled with love. :) I would do this too if I built houses, leave interesting things for people to find. S/he did a good job I think. The person could have done a simple circle and called it a day. Instead, s/he gave me my picture for January 16, 2012. I heart this picture! ;)

Qualifying Exam (1/15/12)

Oh snap! It just got very real!! My cohort and I received this email from our chair to let us know when our qualifying exams are taking place. I read it and my stomach got very tight. This is the first of two sets of exams we must pass in order to complete our program. It is hard to focus on my current classes because this is looming. God is good. I know he will see all of us through this process. It is another step in the road to Dr. Garcia-McMillian! Eye on the prize!!

Gymnastics (1/14/12)

My hubby and I took Amarilis to her gymnastics class. She did a great job. She loves the rope and swinging. She is really strong and can pull herself up onto the rope. She is so funny, when she gets into things she sticks her tongue out. She was all over it as you can see! :) Our poor boo boo was not feeling well but she still hung in there. She looked so cute in her gymnastics outfit! She was ready to do it all over again after she woke up from her nap.

Stairs (1/13/12)

Everything is around us is beautiful even concrete. I was on my way out of the office and took this picture. It is an outside stair case. I saw some students going up and down them. It made me think of how many people have taken those very same stairs. I wonder what they are doing now? Did they lead them to where they hoped to go? I hope they have, and for those who walk them today, I hope they do!!